But isn't happiness our natural state?

Like everything else in my life, this blog is unplanned. I rarely think of things to write about. They are almost always expressions of some overpowering thought needing a vent. My last post here was written on completing a year in my job. And the very same thought has been keeping me busy for almost a year! Strange but true. Whenever my mind is idle, it turns to the subject like a cow regurgitating its food to chew during moments of leisure.

But my treatment of it has become a little more mature. Like the prayer that says, "Give me the power to change things that I can, and the wisdom to accept those I cannot". Work is now no more very bothersome. In fact,it is the break that I take between doing things I like to do! And for that I have to thank my stars and office a gazillion times!

I have been coming home to something every single day: some days its the books I have read and re-read countless times: Harry Potter, Ponniyin Selvan or Gone with the wind. Some days its the new ones : The Kingkiller Chronicles (Very highly recommended for fans of fantasy), Thiruvarangan Ula, Made in America. Some other day its a movie I have downloaded in the morning (I alone have been using up 30 GB every month ;) ) or a series I have taken a strong liking to. Other day its some article on photography I had bookmarked in the morning or a scheduled show on NatGeo Wild. So, when I leave for work, I know exactly what I am going to do that night. And that keeps me insanely happy for the entire day (so much for calling myself unplanned, but yeah, if you prefer, I guess I am a very short term planner). There is some strange and positive energy thrumming within, all day, idling only during office hours ;)

I do wonder if there is any medical condition which is the exact opposite of clinical depression. But if there is, I am sure it needs to go untreated! A small voice keeps telling me that I am a misanthrope, who revels in living so much by myself, but I am sure I am not that. I have a family and a friends' circle that I love a lot, so in the steps towards self-actualization, realizing why I am so happy should be the next step :D

Celebrations: Expected and Not-so-expected!

Well, well, well, its double celebration for me today!! India wins that elusive world cup and Google decides to feature a photograph taken by me :) :)

https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/featured?feat=featured_all#

My mood is lifted from its nadir suddenly :)

The Cosmic Discotheque

There was a power cut yesterday night. Went to the terrace. The sky was a brilliant blue. More black than blue, but you could still make out the blue hue in it. No stars. no moon. No other light nearby. Felt extremely liberated under the cosmic canopy. Thoughts just got blocked out of my mind. I probably lost my comprehension. My cognizance. Felt insanely happy I think. Can't recall the last time something moved me so powerfully. So effortlessly. Wanted to run down and get my camera, but stood riveted.

Wind howled like crazy and then was the time for some brilliant fireworks in the sky. Purple light rays cut through the dark blue sheet; Mildly in the beginning and more savagely later. What started as a point of light in one corner became a silver bolt travelling monstrously across the expanse. Branches of white light appeared everywhere and it looked like a divine discotheque. Purple, white, blue and grey crackling the clouds all around me. Raw power emanated from everything above me! I found myself almost wishing for a lightning to come and strike me. Was thoroughly exhilarated by the dangerous beauty. Am now reminded of the disconnect I have with everything around me. Need to spend more time in nature's company :) ! That is my resolution for today.

Half of a Yellow Sun

Some days back we had this terrible class on investment banking where we had to give a presentation on some restructuring strategies for a company. We thought we had done our homework and in fact all the groups had done some good analysis. But we somehow did not strike a chord with the Prof who was ill tempered right from the morning. The diatribe which followed our presentations would go down as the worst I have faced in my academic life so far. Every small mistake was highlighted and the presenters were torn apart with criticism. The whole class heaved a sigh of relief when it was 6:30, time for the class to get over.

Five minutes later, the entire finance batch was in the bus going to the city! Everyone wanted to put the day behind them and have some good time. So we went to the city, laughing all the way about some of the comments made in the class. Only when we reached the city did I realize that I had no idea where to go. I just wanted to be out of the campus and did not think for a minute as to where I should go.

Then I thought I would go to the Naturals Ice cream bar in Aundh as its one shop which never fails to cheer me up. And when I reached Naturals I saw a new Crossword store next to it. I went inside on an autopilot and started browsing. There was this book in the new arrivals which caught my attention, “Half of a Yellow Sun”. The book has been written by an African writer by the name Adichie and has won quite a few awards for fiction in 2007-2008.

I flipped the pages and read some lines here and there and got mesmerized by what I was reading. But when I saw this line, “Is love the safety I feel in our silences?”, I knew I had to buy the book. There was just no walking away from it!!

What followed the purchase is too short to be described. I read the book. I did nothing else! I remembered nothing else! The two and a half days is the shortest 60 hours of my life! I was sucked so deep into the characters and the situations and was laughing and crying along with the lead characters in it.

The plot is simple. The story is set in 60s Nigeria against the backdrop of the Nigerian civil war. There is this Odenigbo, charismatic and rebellious professor in Nsukku university, then there is Olanna, his wife, friend and philosopher who is very pretty and very human, in the sense you and me can identify with her most of the time, and lastly there is Kainene, Olanna’s twin, enigmatic, moody and distant. These three have very complex relationships with each other and Richard, Kainene’s boyfriend and a white journalist.

Most of the story is told through the eyes of Ugwu, the domestic help of Odenigbo. Odenigbo’s family loves Ugwu as their own son. The best part of this novel is the way in which human weaknesses are portrayed. No character is shown in black and white. Everyone is shown to be human in more ways than one. They display fear, arrogance, haste, regret, love, humour, joy, hope, despair etc in such a way that you want to reach out and comfort them when they are sad, kick them when they act superior and curse them when they kill their love. You root for their happiness right from the start as the love story between Odenigbo and Olanna is one of the most beautiful I have read in the recent times. There is a betrayal, then follows the hurt, then the revenge, then the realization that their love Is still alive, then their next realization that now their love is not going to be above suspicion, and their resignation to that fact are all told in such a gentle and touching tale that you cannot escape shedding some tears every now and then.

Kainene is portrayed as someone who is a hard nut to crack. Her own boyfriend is enchanted but pained by the enigma she is to him and some of her dialogues are so profound that she goes down as the most favorite character from this book (and most of the others I have read). She is a challenge to people near her and no action of hers in unjustified, but none can be justified either. The bitterness she shares with her twin because she is way prettier than her might remind you of people from you past who made you feel uglier than you really are! She bowls you over with her courage and frankness and if I need to ever have a role model from the books I have read, it would undoubtedly be Kainene. She later mellows down and revives the bond with her sister but before you can rejoice, there comes an important twist in the tale.

There is a very subtle humor which runs throughout the book despite the serious backdrop and surprisingly quite a few places make you laugh aloud too!! The premise for most of our so-called civil wars is very beautifully explained and you don’t amateurishly think anymore that language and land are stupid reasons to fight a war. What is happening in most of the African nations is plain legacy of the British rule and Nigeria civil war is no exception. But what is exceptional is hearing the story and justifications through an insider’s voice. War time diseases, war time love, war time cooking etc make you count each of your blessings twice.

Just to reiterate, don’t miss reading this book. You will be glad that you did when you finish this. Some philosophical thoughts and melancholy will haunt you a few days after completion, but then it is what makes this book so special. You connect with it. Totally! An emotionally honest book which makes you feel liberated from invisible bondage once you read it.

Next to read – Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus ! If there is one person I would like to meet right now and talk to, its Adichie. I have completely fallen in love with her words. And don't for a moment feel that I have reviewed this book. I am not qualified at all to do that. I just have tried to introduce this book to as many as I can and may be give an outlet to the satisfaction I feel ever since I completed this book.

Catalyst on a boring day :)

The smirk is back.

There is a leap in my steps.
Constant flip flops inside
Some violent somersaults too!

The Tamil song in repeat mode
Dusting memories of yesterday..
The beauty of the lyrics
Creating a musical cascade within..

The key has been found
The lock has lost its value now!
The gush is exciting and familiar
Started on no less than a fourth gear!!

The constant hum disturbs hardly
Rather energizes oddly,
To match wits and class
To raise brows and smile!

An alert spine and a quick pulse
Sweaty palm just inches away
"Fantasy", you say?
"Most probably", I say!

Web is a blessing
Allowing me to stare at you from here!!
Much the same way I had
Without your blushing acknowledgment though :D

"Its weird", don't you say?
For a line to throw open the flood gates
But how do I care?
It brings me joy from nowhere!

This feverish excitement in all my joints
And the accusing heart making "its points"
No doubt are crossing bounds, but..
No complaints if I m entertained a few more rounds :)

Friendship !! So banal a topic!

The past weekend was a kick-ass one. A splendid weekend of roaming, freaking and endless langour.. I wish India revives many of its lesser celebrated festivals and gives it corporates a thing or two to cheer about (and what better than a holiday?
If someone gives me a choice of payrise or more extended weekends,you know what I would choose :P)

The glowing sense of having nothing to do (or rather nothing mission critical)boosts my neurons like nothing else does !! I felt 10 years back in time with the energy levels of a 5 year old. Game for anything you throw at me !! Sounds hardly like the grumbler I am :) !!

I shopped, chattered, watched movies, went to temples (!),had a hair cut (bad it may be),took long strolls on clean beaches,went on a ferry, cleaned, dined out(like a connoisuer :P), slept to my heart's content and presto !The weekend was still on !!!! Come Wednesday,and I am rejuvenated.

Only when I have this feeling of having 'nothing-to-do', do I do so many things!
Pressure puts me off !! In a flash.

Not to mention the great company I had over this weekend !! A 6 year bond is always special.Add to it a fresh one and there vanishes boredom !!My ode for all such people who make my life what it is today:

For a dreamer of my sorts..
Its so easy to get lost.
Hence I hold onto you
And you put up with me for zero cost!!

For bad days you are my balm
On sad days, you kill my qualms.
A good word from you
And you know you made my day!

You know you are invaluable
For
The spontaneous smiles
The timed lines
The peeps into my privacy
The comments on my idiosyncrasies
The crutches for my confidence.
The lavish praises I don't deserve ;)
And some honest comments I do preserve!

You paint my life in a hundred colours
And I love every hue and shade you try.
A million thanks for all you guys.
Take it now, I might not tell this again!